When I was young in my faith, about 30-some years ago, I would look for advice from anyone who might seem a bit more knowledgeable than me and who called themselves a Christian. I would listen to radio shows, read books that would tell me how to be a better wife and a better parent, and I would have friends who would also offer advice. Some good and some not so good.
Sometimes the not-so-good advice just never sat right with me. Thankfully, I never took that advice. I was young in the faith, naïve, and learning how to be a Christian wife, mom, daughter, coworker, and friend. I didn’t understand the importance of seeking out women who were more spiritually mature than me. It wasn’t until I was in desperate need of guidance that I started to seek out a godly mentor. Thankfully, the Lord placed spiritual mothers in my life not too long after I got married.
Welcome back, friends! We just wrapped up the second week of the Romans 8 study written by Pam Gillespie. As I was finishing up this week's lesson, I kept going back to Matthew 10, which is when Jesus was commissioning the apostles to go out among a hostile environment and this was going to be a difficult task.
Today’s Passage
Matthew 10:16–18
“Behold, I am sending you out as sheep in the midst of wolves, so be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.”
This verse just made me pause.
Two questions popped into my mind: How can I live in a fallen world with my eyes focused on Christ, without wavering in my faith? Where can I find the wisdom needed to navigate this fallen world?
As I dug deeper in this rabbit hole, I decided to research the difference between Serpents and Doves. I won’t go into detail here but it was worth the investigation and highly advise you to look it up too. When Jesus tells the apostles to be wise as serpents he means:
Wise as Serpents
Innocent as Doves
Jesus instructed them to be wise as serpents and innocent as doves. My observation is that these two descriptions are opposite of one another, but when a person has the characteristics of both, they actually complement each other. Bible Hub study bible says
Matthew 10:16 “calls believers to live on mission with open eyes and pure hearts. Christ sends us, knowing the world can be wolf-like, yet He equips us to pair strategic wisdom with uncompromised holiness. Vigilant, discerning, and undefiled, we reflect our Shepherd while engaging a hostile culture with His gospel.”
So, how can we find harmony between being wise while being innocent?
A good starting point is to go to God’s Word and to seek out wisdom by searching the Scriptures and asking the Lord to give you wisdom.
James 1:5 says “Now if any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him”
I think part of being able to find that balance is how we view people and situations around us. We need to remember that we live in a fallen world, and that our expectations of others can affect how we respond when things don't go the way we expected.
Are You Creating Expectations That Will Often Be Unmet?
There are those around me who are believers and unbelievers. Some give advice, some are rude, some stir up trouble, some push other people's buttons, some are condescending, some are easily frustrated, some are argumentative, some are sarcastic, and some say unkind words.
The point is this: whether you are an unbeliever or a believer, we all sin.
This Reminded Me of Romans 3:
“No one is righteous, not even one... no one who does good, not even one.”
Yep, this includes me and you. I respond in all kinds of ways too!
We are all sinners. We are all capable of responding in unloving and uncaring ways, such as being:
Rash and flippant
Sarcastic
Gossiping
Slanderous
Boastful
Arrogant
Gosh, I need that reminder ALL the time!
We are called to walk in the newness of life (Romans 6:4). We are supposed to be a light in the fallen world (Matthew 5:14–16).
We need wisdom and discernment in knowing how to handle hostile and uncomfortable environments.
Not Only Are We To Be Cautious...
But Ephesians 4 says:
We are to walk in a manner worthy of the calling to which we have been called:
humility
gentleness
patience
bearing with one another
unity
Let me share with you some things that I go back to when I need to remember how to respond in a fallen world. Maybe some of these ideas would be helpful to you as well, friend.
1. Don’t React—Pause First
I have never been good at this until I got older, and I still struggle with this because my personality seems to get in the way. I normally like to have closure right away, mainly when things aren’t going the way I was hoping for. Especially if there is disagreement. It took me a while to see that not everyone is like me. Can you believe that not everyone is like me! Haha! It took me forever to understand that there are those that need space to think and work through things. Over the past couple of years, the Lord has been teaching me how to pause first before doing, and it probably saved a lot of pain. I am just amazed at all of the variety of personalities the Lord has created in all of us!
I believe the Lord used my oldest daughter Rebekah to open my eyes to another way of responding to others. I noticed that she was very cautious and careful in how she responds, not only in texting but also in person. The Lord definitely gifted her in this area! When I'm walking according to the Spirit, I am more prone to pause first.
Live It Out
Before You:
STOP and Pray
Then:
Seek the Lord’s counsel.
Search the Scriptures
Search out wise counsel
Remember that who you seek out for wise counsel matters.
2. Be Careful About Who Influences You
Like I said earlier, I had a couple of situations where I could’ve taken advice from someone who was a believer, and if I did, perhaps I would not be in this position I am in today.
Not every person who calls themselves a Christian is mature enough to provide you direction, and just because a person is very confident doesn’t mean that their advice will be sound.
I'm grateful that the Lord placed godly women in my life, such as my mom, Judy, Kathy, Kate, Katherine, Jing Jing, Amy, Pam, Sharon, and the list continues to grow.
Most of the time, a mentor won’t just plop into your lap. You will have to take some action on your part.
Search out a person who has been following Jesus for a longer time than you. Age is not necessarily important, but it could be.
I love it when mentoring just happens. That’s the kind that I long for.
I will always need to be mentored by a woman, but now that I’m on the “other side,” I have searched out ladies to develop a friendship mentorship because that is what we are called to do in Titus 1.
3. Pay Attention to What Consumes You
This is an area that I feel strongly about. If there is one area that I think most of us struggle with, it is our consumption of information.
Who do you follow on social media?
What podcasts do you listen to?
What books are you allowing yourself to read?
Let’s think through these questions and as we do, let’s ask ourselves how these impact our thoughts and actions. A lot of times, our responses are related to our consumption of what is in front of us.
Philippians 4:8–9 is a great couple of verses that help you to know what kind of things you should allow yourself to think upon.
I especially love the last part: the God of peace will be with you. When you consume content that is opposite of these things, most of the time anxiety, fear, greed, and discontentment take over, and peace will not reign in your heart.
4. Reassess Your Expectations of Others
A lot of times, we can assume that people should just read our minds and know exactly what we need. This happens in all settings of life. We expect our waitress to fill our cup (here in the USA, we are able to have refills). Expectations will vary depending on where you live and what culture you have grown up in. When I lived in Switzerland, it was expected that the buses and trains were on time. Then you come here to the States, and your expectation of how trains and buses run changes dramatically. When traveling, we expect that our luggage will arrive at our destination.
Yes, all types of expectations are out there. But we live in a fallen world, where external influences occur upon the earth and on creation, while internal struggles are impacting each and every one of us in different ways daily.
So, when you come across some situation that doesn't go the way you planned, try to remember that you are a light in the midst of a fallen and dark world. In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven. (Matthew 5:16)
Your view about who God is will shape how you view these unmet expectations. When I was younger, I was more demanding, but as I understood that God is sovereign over all things and over the circumstances that occur in my life, I like to think about these unmet expectations as Shapers.
LIVE IT OUT
So, How Will You View Your Expectations?
As “shapers” or “demands”?
5. Sheep Need Boundaries
Be okay with saying no.
Be okay with not pleasing everyone.
Be okay with agreeing to disagree.
Be okay with unmet expectations.
Be okay with God’s timing versus your timing.
Trust the Shepherd who is over all things.
6. Stay Connected with Believers
We Are Better Together!
Have someone who is not afraid to speak the truth to you and to encourage you.
Be a part of the church by volunteering in some capacity.
Be honest with your struggles with someone so that there are those that KNOW you.
When you struggle, don't stay away from the church or activities.
Surround yourself with mature believers.
Being in the midst of the flock will provide you safety and protection from predators. Having other believers come alongside you so that “iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.” (Proverbs 27:17)
Final Thoughts
I hope that one of these six action points resonated with you and that you were encouraged to look at living in a fallen world differently. Perhaps you will want to change how you view unmet expectations and see them as shapers of your heart.
The next two episodes will be the Scripture memory review for verses 3 and 4 of Romans 8.
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Until next time, stay tuned and stay rooted!
"Matthew 10:16 Study Bible," Bible Hub, accessed September 23, 2026, https://biblehub.com/matthew/10-16.htm#study.
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